Pathetic Trump Chickens Out of Testifying in Hush-Money Trial

Donald Trump’s defense rested and concluded witness testimony in his hush-money trial Tuesday—and the former president pathetically chickened out of taking the stand.

“Yeah, I would testify, absolutely,” Trump told reporters in April before the trial began. “I’m testifying. I tell the truth, I mean, all I can do is tell the truth, and the truth is that there is no case.”

His lawyer Alina Habba again confirmed on Monday that he wants to take the stand—that he is “willing” and “able.”

But in the end, the beleaguered blowhard weaseled out of it.

Trump has wailed at length about a gag order issued by Judge Juan Merchan restricting his public statements, arguing incoherently that the gag order prohibits him from testifying—a statement that is flatly untrue, as the gag order applies to public statements from Trump targeting jurors and prosecution and does not apply to sworn testimony.

Perhaps Trump chickened out because his allies are familiar with his proclivity to ramble uncontrollably and knew he would likely put his foot in his mouth, as he’s already been doing.

In lieu of public statements, Trump has benefited from a rotating gaggle of copycat surrogates speaking on his behalf and admitting to helping him violate his gag order over and over again.

Merchan concluded Tuesday morning that closing arguments would resume the following Tuesday—leaving Trump a full week off from court to violate his gag order again.

Senator Ted Cruz posted a message on X (formerly Twitter) Monday afternoon touting all his help after a storm hit the Houston area on Thursday. Unfortunately for him, the internet never forgets, and in his case, he doesn’t have the best record on natural disasters.

In 2021, Cruz dashed off to vacation in Cancun while much of Texas was without electricity after a winter disaster, earning him scorn and mockery from his political colleagues as well as on social media. His post on Monday quickly brought in commentators eager to remind him of his actions.

Some brought up how he’s spent his time touting his podcast (which could get him in campaign finance trouble) and hawking his new book.

The Lose Cruz PAC, which is raising money to oust the Texas senator, also got in on the act.

Cruz is facing a tough reelection campaign against Representative Colin Allred, a former football player, and is looking to shore up any support he can. Cruz has a number of obstacles this time, such as Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s presidential candidacy pulling away votes and dangerously low fundraising numbers.

He should probably be doing things in Congress that would help his popularity, but in true Cruz fashion, he’s trying to make sure airlines don’t have to easily offer refunds and wants to give politicians extra security in airports so they that don’t get bothered if they leave their state in the middle of a disaster.

An imprisoned former senior Trump White House aide is already envisioning Donald Trump’s second presidential term—and it includes “mass deportations.”

Peter Navarro is serving a four-month sentence in federal prison for refusing to respond to a congressional subpoena during the House Select Committee’s January 6 investigation. But time in the clink has helped Trump’s self-described “alter ego” iron out the finer details of Trump’s presidential politics—from international trade and alliances to border security, according to Semafor.

“The New MAGA Deal documents 100 actions in 100 days,” Navarro said, referring to a new book he’s working on behind bars.

At the top of the agenda of unfinished business is a plan to bring private-sector supply chains and manufacturing “back to U.S. soil.”

“American multinational corporations naturally want to offshore American jobs in their search for cheap, sweatshop labor and pollution havens,” Navarro said. “That’s why God created tariffs.”

But tariffs and economic restrictions are only the beginning. Within those first 100 days, Navarro predicted that Trump will promise to close the border and force immigrant populations out of the country.

“Trump will also quickly seal the border and begin mass deportations,” Navarro told Semafor, blaming President Joe Biden for importing a “wave of crime and terrorism” and an “uneducated mass” to the nation.

And any former staff who even remotely opposed Trump’s plans during his first term can forget about being invited back to serve the GOP presidential nominee again, according to Navarro. That includes Trump’s former chief economic adviser Gary Cohn and former Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin, who Navarro said did everything he could to “soften” Trump’s economic agenda. Instead, only those completely loyal to Trump’s vision will have a spot in the forthcoming term.

Representative Jasmine Crockett is doubling down on her viral jab against far-right Representative Marjorie Taylor-Greene by beating the firebrand at her own game: Crockett filed a trademark on the phrase “bleach blonde bad-built butch body” and is producing a “Crockett Clapback Collection” featuring phrases the freshman lawmaker has said.

Crockett, a representative from Texas, posted a mockup of a shirt featuring the phrase “bleach blonde bad-built butch body,” which Crockett refers to as “B6” for its alliteration. On announcing the line of swag—which trademark filings note will include hats, hoodies, socks, and T-shirts—Crockett says proceeds “will go to ensuring that we have a Democratic House!”

The diss came during a House Oversight Committee meeting after Greene inexplicably insulted Crockett’s appearance while ranting about Judge Juan Merchan’s daughter. The committee meeting was reviewing a vote on whether to file articles of contempt against U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland for refusing to provide confidential recordings between Biden and special counsel Robert Hur. During Greene’s tirade, Representative Crockett asked her, “Do you know what we’re here for?” to which Greene responded, “I don’t think you know what you’re here for. I think your fake eyelashes are messing up what you’re reading.”

In response to the trademark and merch launch by Crockett, Greene made the incredibly normal decision to publish a video of herself working out. “Yes my body is built and strong,” Greene wrote. “NOT with nips, tucks, plastic, or silicone, but through a healthy lifestyle.”

Leaning into white fragility, Greene appeared on Fox News to decry body shaming against herself while doubling down on body shaming others, griping to the outlet notorious for cookie-cutter bleach-blonde, Botoxed hosts, “I think no matter what shape, size, or how we look, we need to be ourselves, not telling women the only way to be attractive or accepted is to have fake boobs, fake hair, fake lashes, and injected faces.”

Donald Trump’s social media venture is taking a serious dive, according to its first earnings report.

Trump Media and Technology Group, which owns Truth Social, lost about $327.6 million last quarter ending March 31. These losses include $311 million in noncash expenses from the company’s merger with Digital World.

The company only brought in about $770,500 in revenue, down from $1.1 million the year before. The report had been delayed after the company fired its auditor, BF Borgers, who was charged with “massive fraud” by the Securities and Exchange Commission earlier this month. The company has had at least two other auditors in its short existence: one that resigned in July 2023 and another that was terminated in March to hire BF Borgers.

The company is currently trading at $48 per share, down from its peak of nearly $72 during its initial public offering in March. That’s a loss of more than half the company’s value. It had a bad run of news, even reaching out to the federal government to figure out why the stock has performed so poorly. Trump Media’s CEO, former Representative Devin Nunes, even complained to NASDAQ’s CEO that the company was the victim of illegal “naked short selling”—leading to his brutal mocking on Wall Street. Two of the company’s top investors were also charged with insider trading in April.

As a result of the company’s losses and his own financial difficulties, Trump himself has been kicked off the Bloomberg Billionaires Index, a daily ranking of the 500 richest people in the world. He also has to be careful about his usual bragging, as the SEC could see it as an attempt to pump up the company’s stock. And Trump can’t sell off any of that stock for six months without board approval, a difficult prospect considering his hefty legal bills.

A video published on Donald Trump’s Truth Social account Monday afternoon featuring hypothetical headlines included reference to a “unified Reich” alongside a much larger, bolded headline reading, “What’s Next for America?”

The Trump campaign claims the video was made by a “random account,” according to statements provided to NBC, and that it was republished to Trump’s Truth Social without his knowledge while he was in court for his hush-money trial. The video was left posted for hours and was only removed Tuesday morning.

Trump previously described neo-Nazis who marched in the fatal Unite the Right rally in 2017, carrying tiki torches and chanting “Jews will not replace us,” as “very fine people.” He has made comments echoing Hitler’s Mein Kampf as recently as last year, claiming immigrants are “poisoning the blood of this country.” His past administration and current allies are riddled with white nationalists. It comes as no surprise that a member of his campaign team would pull a DeSantis and “accidentally” publish a video on behalf of Trump infused with a positive reference to Nazi Germany.

The video, which presents as a campaign ad, asks, “What’s next for America? The economy booms. American energy is unleashed, and an end to crushing taxes. The border is closed, and the largest deportation in history is underway. No more wars, as we focus on home. Law and order is restored. The American Dream is back and the best is yet to come.”

Nazi Germany used the term “Reich” to suggest a historical return to previous empires. Following the Holocaust, Reich fell out of usage except in reference to Germany under Hitler. The “unified Reich” headline appears to be pulled from the Wikipedia page for World War I. Beyond that headline, the ad features copy discussing World War I and early twentieth-century war history dated between 1914 and 1918—at the height of Jim Crow, prior to women’s right to vote, and just before the Ku Klux Klan became a mass movement. “Make America great again,” the voiceover on the video declares as it ends, effectively confirming what critics have long said the phrase coined by Ronald Reagan’s 1980 campaign and repopularized by Trump really means: Make America great again for a select, ultraracist few.

Dan Snyder, the disgraced former owner of the Washington Commanders, is less than thrilled about the premiere of a movie critical of Donald Trump at the Cannes Film Festival—even though he helped fund it.

The Apprentice covers Trump’s early years in the real estate industry—and focuses on the former president’s relationship with notorious political fixer Roy Cohn and Trump’s relationship with his first wife, Ivana—and premiered on Monday at Cannes to a rapturous eight-minute standing ovation. Little more was known about the film, which stars Sebastian Stan as Trump and Succession’s Jeremy Strong as Cohn, before its premiere—aside from the fact that Snyder hated it and wanted it shelved.

Snyder, a longtime Trump ally who has donated more than $1.2 million to his previous campaigns, has been embroiled in a legal battle with the film’s producers since he saw an early cut of it in February. The viewing left Snyder “furious” with the creative direction of the film, and he reportedly took issue with several parts of the story, leveraging his position as an investor with the film’s distribution company, Kinematics, to argue for changes to the script, according to Variety. (That could potentially refer to one scene in which Trump is depicted sexually assaulting Ivana, as described in the couple’s 1989 divorce deposition. Ivana Trump later distanced herself from the allegation.) When his suggestions didn’t stick, Snyder turned to cease-and-desist letters in a last-ditch effort to shut the film down. But still, it persists.

“All creative and business decisions involving The Apprentice have always been and continue to be solely made by Kinematics,” Kinematics president Emanuel Nuñez told Variety.

It’s unclear if Snyder was in attendance at Monday’s screening, though his yacht, the Lady S, was reported to be off the coast of Cannes Monday afternoon. After the screening ended, the movie’s director, Ali Abassi, gave a speech denouncing the rise of fascism.

Prior to the Trump film fiasco, Snyder was best known as a much-despised former co-owner in the NFL. Before selling the Washington Commanders, Snyder was investigated for alleged workplace harassment and sexual misconduct, was sued by the D.C. attorney general for allegedly colluding to mislead customers, was accused by the ranking Democrat on the U.S. House Committee on Oversight and Reform of lying under oath during a hearing regarding sexual assault allegations against his team, and famously screwed up a venture to get the Commanders a new stadium before a lineup of former female employees spoke out against him in front of Congress.

Donald Trump says he’d consider current Texas attorney general and harbinger of far-right doom Ken Paxton for his own U.S. attorney general if he retakes the White House.

“He’s very very talented,” Trump said during the National Rifle Association’s annual convention in Dallas, on Saturday. “We have a lot of people that want that one [position] and will be very good at it, but he’s a very talented guy.”

KDFW asked Trump if he would consider Paxton—facing disciplinary action from the Texas state bar for his efforts to overturn 2020 election results—for the position. “I would, actually,” Trump replied, marking the first name Trump has floated for a possible U.S. attorney general should he win the 2024 presidential election.

Trump has already promised to remold the Justice Department into his personal attack dog—and putting Paxton at the helm is particularly terrifying.

Law and order–hating Paxton frequently finds himself surrounded by corruption charges. In 2023, he faced unsuccessful impeachment proceedings by the GOP-led Texas Senate for bribery and abuse of public trust. Those proceedings largely stemmed from Paxton allegedly using his office to benefit Nate Paul, a wealthy donor of Paxton’s who is facing his own legal turmoil.

Far-right billionaire supporters of Paxton operating under a PAC named Texans United for a Conservative Majority—rebranded after Defend Texas Liberty got caught hanging out with Hitler fans—reportedly dumped $3 million to support candidates running against Republicans who led Paxton’s impeachment proceedings.

Last year, Paxton also threatened to prosecute any and all abortion doctors in Texas, even in cases where a court says they can conduct the health procedure.

Paxton infamously spoke at Trump’s rally on January 6, 2021, ahead of the Capitol riot, telling the crowd of future rioters, “We will not quit fighting.”

Donald Trump’s hush-money trial has drawn quite a few of his high-profile supporters, including members of Congress and those hoping to be his vice presidential running mate. Among them also happens to be a onetime leader of the Hells Angels gang.

Chuck Zito, who helped to found the New York Nomads chapter of the outlaw motorcycle gang, was among Trump’s entourage on Monday at the Manhattan courthouse where his trial is being held.

Zito has a criminal record, serving prison time from 1985 to 1998 for drug conspiracy charges. His chapter of the Hells Angels has also been linked to the Gambino Mafia crime family. And the Justice Department considers Hells Angels to be an organized crime syndicate.

Why would Trump want him at his trial in New York? Zito doesn’t have a political career. These days, he’s more famous for his occasional acting. However, The New York Times points out that Trump has an old association with bikers going back to his 2016 campaign, when he addressed a Washington, D.C., biker rally. There’s even a Bikers for Trump group, which took part in several Trump rallies alleging that the 2020 election was stolen.

Zito isn’t the only Trump supporter with a criminal record who appeared at the courtroom on Monday: Former New York Police Department Commissioner Bernard Kerik, who went to prison on tax charges and was later pardoned by Trump, also showed up for moral support.

And while Zito’s mob ties might appear bad on the surface, Trump has ties to organized crime himself going back decades. Legal experts have expressed concern for the safety of jurors in Trump’s trials. And the former president has even been accused of using “an obvious Mafia tactic” to get around his gag order in the case by having his supporters speak for him. Zito’s attendance in many ways is a boost to Trump’s ego: He has an infamous tough guy show up in his corner at a trial that could send him to prison.

The Republican presidential nominee is facing 34 felony charges for allegedly falsifying business records with the intent to further an underlying crime by using his former fixer, Michael Cohen, to pay off adult film actress Stormy Daniels to cover up an affair before the 2016 election. He has pleaded not guilty to all charges.

Rudy Giuliani shitposted himself into an indictment Friday night as he left his 80th birthday party in Florida.

The former Trump lawyer spent weeks mocking the Arizona attorney general as he evaded receiving the subpoena for his alleged participation in a scheme to overturn the 2020 election, Rolling Stone reports, but his posts finally caught up to him.

Richie Taylor, communications director for the Arizona attorney general, told Rolling Stone authorities were able to locate Giuliani in Florida due to his constant livestreams: “Our agents traveled to Florida [on Friday]. We knew he was there because of his nightly live video streams at his residence.”

During a Friday night birthday bash to ring in the brand new octogenarian, whose birthday is May 28, Giuliani posted a photo of himself surrounded by a gaggle of cookie-cutter blonde women beaming through Botox. He taunted the Arizona attorney general, writing, “If Arizona authorities can’t find me by tomorrow morning: 1. They must dismiss the indictment; 2. They must concede they can’t count votes.”

Hours later, Arizona attorney general Kris Mayes quote-tweeted his post announcing authorities with the Arizona attorney general’s office had served Giuliani his subpoena.

“The final defendant was served moments ago. Nobody is above the law,” Mayes wrote. Giuliani, seemingly attempting to evade the digital smackdown, soon deleted his post. The attorney general screenshot it and posted it following her announcement Giuliani had been served.

“The agents took the opportunity to serve [Giuliani] when he was out at a friend’s nearby house as he left his birthday party,” Taylor told Rolling Stone. Ted Goodman, a spokesperson for Giuliani, confirmed to Rolling Stone that the former Mussolini of Manhattan was served and claimed, “He was unfazed and enjoyed an incredible evening with hundreds of people, from all walks of life, who love and respect him for his contributions to society.”

“It was so goddamn irritating,” an unnamed Arizona government source told Rolling Stone. “We knew he’d get served eventually, but it seemed like he was playing these games just because he felt like it.”

Giuliani is expected to appear in Arizona court Tuesday alongside 17 co-defendants. A spokesman for Mayes told AP that Giuliani is charged with felony counts of conspiracy, fraud, and forgery. Trump is listed as an unindicted co-conspirator in the case. The Arizona attorney general’s office alleges Giuliani, former Trump chief of staff Mark Meadows, Trump attorney Boris Epshteyn, and others “schemed to prevent the lawful transfer of the presidency to keep Unindicted Co-conspirator 1 in office against the will of Arizona voters.”

At the rate Giuliani’s going, he’ll be celebrating his next birthday in jail.