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Breaking: Mccain Suspends Election!

Tomorrow's news today:

(AP) - Saying the issues confronting America "are too important for partisan politics," Senator John McCain today suspended the 2008 presidential election and said he would assume the presidency on Monday to begin the hard work of governing.

"At this time of domestic and foreign peril, the American people deserve better than a nasty partisan campaign," McCain said in a statement today. "That is why I am suspending this race with Senator Obama and moving into the White House this weekend. My friends, it is time to put governing ahead of petty politics once and for all."

Almost plausible, eh?

--Michael Crowley