Glasgow's Jack Bauer

As thousands of Glaswegians queued, moaned and sneakily sipped Buckfast [a potent Tonic wine made by monks drunk only in the west of Scotland] on a rainy Saturday afternoon, one man stood vigilant outside the airport terminal. Baggage supervisor, hero, smoker. John Smeaton. Little did he know, as he happily dragged on his fag, that two crazed al-Qaeda operatives were preparing to meet their maker. But they didn't meet their maker. Instead they met BAA's [British Airport Authority's] answer to Jack Bauer... ...Here's to John. This man shows us that the law-abiding, honest, brave citizen is still very much with us. Here's to his heroism, his straightforward belief in right and wrong, his support for Law and Order, and his willingness to give a good kicking to someone richly deserving it.