Since she's not a conservative, Gail Collins's column slapping Fred Thompson in today's Times is unlikely to pack the same punch as either George Will's or the generally Fred-friendly Bob Novak's op-ed spankings in the Post. But unlike her male counterparts, Collins is making a stylistic observation about Fred--who, let's face it, is running a campaign based almost entirely on style--that his team should address asap. Specifically, the candidate looks dangerously old and run down compared to the competition. Fred is 65--five years older than Mitt Romney, six years old than Hillary, and six years younger than John McCain. Yet the good ol' boy looks as though he might have babysat any one of his rivals. (He may, in fact, still be eligible to babysit Obama.) And while, particularly post-W., the electorate is in the mood for a president with some gravitas, Americans still tend to prefer a leader with a pulse. (Reagan may have had a tendency to nod off in Cabinet meetings, but he always made sure to look his vigorous best for the cameras.) So what's a concerned campaign team to do? Stock up on pork rinds--or Oreos or any other high-calorie snack that can help reverse the effects of whatever weight-loss program Fred has been on of late. Obviously, to some degree, Fred is a victim of the genetic draw (not to mention all that carousing during his red-hot bachelor days). But as any woman of a certain age will tell you, the downside of late-in-life weight loss is that it exacerbates the wrinkle and sag problem. Looking at pics of today's svelter, campaign-ready Fred compared to Fred just last year, you can see this effect at work. The candidate looks slimmer, yes, but also more like a weary bulldog. A few more shed pounds and Big Daddy will be in sharpei territory. On the trail recently, Fred joked that his new frantic schedule would lead to even more weight loss. Note to Team Thompson: Do not let this happen. Your man may have a hottie wife and two tiny tots, but he's still an old goat--and one clearly not immune to the ravages of time. Leave the dieting to the young and elastic, Fred. You should be packing on the pounds in an effort to fill out those cheeks a bit. As you know better than anyone in this race, camera-ready makeup can take you only so far. --Michelle Cottle