Ben Cohen’s (the Ben of Ben & Jerry’s) new Sanders-themed flavor is finally hitting stores, two weeks after Cohen announced it was in production. The flavor is meant to represent Sanders’s economic principles: “When you open up the pint, there’s this big disc of chocolate covering the entire top, and below it is just plain mint ice cream,” Cohen said. “The disc of chocolate represents the 90 percent of the wealth that has gone to the top 10 percent over the last 10 years. The way you eat it, you take your spoon, you whack that big chocolate disc into a bunch of little pieces, you mix it around, and there you have it: Bernie’s Yearning.”
Nothing is so unstoppable as a flavor whose time has finally come #FeelTheBern #BerniesYearning: http://ow.ly/Xv3o1
Posted by Yo Ben Cohen on Monday, January 25, 2016
That sounds like great ice cream, but Bernie’s Yearning is an objectively terrible, kinda perv-y-sounding name. With that in mind, we came up with five alternative ice cream names.
1. The Red Threat: Red velvet ice cream with white chocolate hammers and sickles.
2. Eat The Rich: Chocolate mousse ice cream topped with melted fudge and dark chocolate dollar signs.
3. Bust The Upper Crust: Cherry pie-flavored ice cream with crumbled pie crust.
4. Feel The Bern: Chipotle ice cream topped with hot chocolate.
5. Bernie Brozen Yogurt: Strawberry frozen yogurt (with a warning label that reads “Don’t @ Women You Don’t Follow”).